As a child, Muhammed Ali boasted of one day becoming the greatest heavyweight champion of the world. He remembers running through the streets of downtown Louisville, KY, telling locals that he was going to return a champion boxer, win Olympic gold and become the greatest professional boxer of all time. He proclaimed at an early age that he would be “The Greatest of All Time.”
Muhammed Ali learned at an early age the importance of his own self-worth. He always believed in himself and never had defeating thoughts of failure. His parents instilled an indomitable sense of pride and confidence in both Ali and his brother. They were taught from early childhood that they were capable of doing everything and could be the best at anything. This self-confidence gave Ali the courage to face obstacles and challenges head on and triumph over any opponent, or difficulties that arose in life.
I had the opportunity to speak to a group of dynamic women last week in the great city of Houston, Texas. The chosen topic was that of Courage – the ability to forge ahead and act with deliberate intention of progress, to launch forward in the face of failure with no guarantee of success. The virtue that is courage is an especially enthralling one to me as Winston Churchill described it as “the foremost of virtues…upon which all others depend.” Courage is absolutely paramount for any success in life. It pushes you outside of your comfort zone and into higher levels of accomplishment, personally and professionally. To really become the best person that you can possibly be, you must practice courage as much as possible. As the speech progressed, a young woman sitting in the front row posed a question that was met with widespread understanding: How do you have courage to do something if you’re not sure about yourself?
Great question. The answer to this question and every other question that has to do with your passion, ability, potential, goals, choices and accomplishments is Self-Worth. The sense of value or worth you place on yourself as a person is the single most important determinant of your success and happiness in life. Your self-worth comprises your attitude, values and character. Assessing who you are as an individual in life paves the path for what you believe you can do, what you believe you deserve, who you associate with, the goals you define for yourself and the quality choices you make in your career and life.
This one question opened the door to a conversation that seemed to be extremely relevant in today’s constantly changing business culture and social media driven environment. It’s relatively very easy in today’s society to be consumed and defeated by unrealistic, minimizing societal norms projected upon individuals that affect the cultivation of a person’s self-worth. This is true for men and women, but especially women when we look at the fact that women perform two-thirds of the world’s work but only earn ten percent of the world’s income and own only one percent of the world’s property, as verified by the UN Women’s Association. It’s a fast-paced, constantly changing world in which we all live, and there are copious reminders of the tumultuous temper of society’s great impositions on individual development. It is within the framework of these times that it becomes most important to cultivate a strong foundation of self-worth based on internal values as integrity, social responsibility and purposeful action that will anchor you to be a person of great worth. It takes unyielding, impenetrable courage to define your own values, determine your own passions and goals of success, and live a life of your own accomplishments with people whose ideals match your own and appreciate you for who you really are.
Your sense of self-worth depends on who you are – Not what you achieve. You will find that the quality of life you create depends on the quality of person that you are, beginning with your thoughts and attitude about yourself. Being a self-confident, self-determined person allows you to be more self-aware of your beliefs and values. Only then are you able to set realistic goals for yourself and pursue dreams that are truly meaningful to you. There are three main self-beliefs that are essential to fostering a healthy attitude and sense of positive self-worth that will catapult you to great levels of achievement.
- Maintain healthy, positive thoughts and beliefs about yourself. You are your biggest critic… and cheerleader. “Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish,” Sam Walton stated. Your self-talk, thoughts and beliefs about your own abilities and self-worth limit or raise your levels of accomplishment. Instead of schlepping in self-pity, which only magnifies your misfortune, be proactive in finding solutions for progress and creativity. Your attitude is the most important thing over which you have control. It is more important than intelligence, education and talent. In fact studies show that success is comprised of 88% attitude and 12% education. What you believe and the thoughts you focus on become the reality of your life. So keep positive, optimistic thoughts and your life will be so.
- Maintain healthy, positive thoughts and beliefs about others. Unhealthy, and most often times unrealistic comparisons of yourself to others within society, whether it be friends, family or public figures within any arena, is toxic and leads to envy, depression and disappointment. One of the most powerful tools of marketing advertisement campaigns used by social media is to perpetuate unhealthy comparisons. Analysts at Goldman Sachs estimate that the global beauty industry—consisting of skin care worth $24 billion; make-up, $18 billion; $38 billion of hair-care products; and $15 billion of perfumes—is growing at up to 7% a year, more than twice the rate of the developed world’s GDP. In addition, digitally altering images of female models has created over 20 million eating disorders a year. Most mainstream brands use models thinner than 98% of women, and 30% of models are below their ideal body weight. Build self-confidence and be of strong character and high self-worth, knowing that you are making good decisions and choices for yourself. Do not allow any person, any event or situation to create your foundation of values and principles or to negatively affect your personal opinions about yourself. Be more self-aware of your own beliefs and internal composition. The only person you have to better than…is the person you were yesterday.
- Maintain healthy beliefs and a positive outlook about the world. Your world is what you make of it. You cannot control the things that happen to you, but you have full control over the manner in which you react. Muhammed Ali wrote in a letter: Throughout my entire boxing career, my belief in my abilities triumphed over the skill of an opponent. My will was stronger than their skills. What I didn’t know was that my will would be tested even more when I retired. In 1984, I was conclusively diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Since that diagnosis, my symptoms have increased and my ability to speak in audible tones has diminished. If there was anything that would strike at the core of my confidence in myself, it would be this insidious disease. But my confidence and will to continue to live life as I choose won’t be compromised. Muhammed Ali thought about the physical challenges that Parkinson’s presented, and for a world-class athlete, that could have been devastating. Instead, Muhammed Ali lifted his courage to continue to live his life as a champion. “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. Nothing in life has defeated me. I am still the Greatest. This I believe.” ~Muhammed Ali.
The original definition of the word courage from the Latin translation, means ‘to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.’ Believing in yourself and having a high sense of self-worth makes you a more transparent individual. Knowing who you are, what you stand for and where you’re going gives you the confidence to define success in your own terms, achieve goals by your own rules and build a life you’re proud to live. You make better decisions for yourself, build more meaningful relationships that last, better position yourself for continued growth and development and achieve more extraordinary goals. You become a formidable person of character that does not bend according to what others think of you or what changes may occur around you. You know who you are as a person and create your own purpose with your own passion and creativity. Ralph Waldo Emerson said that to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment you can achieve.
Many women approached me after the speech that day. I heard many talk about unfinished goals and delayed dreams due to paralysis from fear of failure and the unknown, not believing in themselves and individual circumstances that stemmed from lack of self-worth. We discussed steps to get back on track, practice courage daily, collaborate as a community to build each other up through support and encouragement and staunch persistence of focused efforts to achievement, one step at a time. Do not attach your sense of happiness, self-worth, integrity or success to any person, event or outcome. Life will continue to disappoint if you look for validation of your self-worth externally. Empowerment comes from within your core and is based on values of integrity and character. As Albert Einstein advised: Try not to become a man of success; Rather become a man of value. Small acts of courage and creativity, smallest in measure, but large in effectiveness, will strengthen your self-worth and change your life.
